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Volume 14 • Number 1 • Spring-Summer 2022


Confusion in the chaos

I've been mad at the world lately. Mad at the injustice in it. Mad about what I see in the news. Mad about what I don't see in the news. Mad about the fact that there are millions of strangers and loved ones suffering and I'm incompetent to help them.  I’m mad about the lack of compassion and the abundance of ignorance in this world in this day and age. I'm mad that we have reached the point of desensitization to cruel acts of violence as we have been so exposed to them on a daily basis. I'm mad that we’ve made it this way.

Or maybe I'm just mad at myself. Mad at the fact that I will never be truly able to understand another person's struggles no matter how much I educate myself or change my perspective. I'm mad about my ability to be burdened by one thing yet feel so apathetic towards another. I'm mad at my inconsistency and lack of faith thereof. I'm mad because I'm no better than the people I judge yet I still pass judgement. I am mad that I can be compassionate towards one person yet disregard another. I'm mad that there are things about myself and about the world I have no power of changing on my own.

But some nights I can't tell the difference.

Tee is her pseudonym, and “Confusion in the chaos” will be her first magazine publication. She has recently joined Olympia publishing to publish her debut novel titled “The Point of Life”. Books have always been a sanctuary for her and she hopes in putting pen to paper she can do the same for others. One a day to day basis, she is a life insurance underwriting trainee based in West Sussex.