Taylor Smith
Gerontophobia
I am unfortunate enough to be cursed by a fear. It has haunted me for as long as I can remember. And I will never forget that regretful day that it changed my life. Welcome to gerontophobia: the fear of old people.
My grandma had a contagious smile and never ran out of hugs for anyone. No matter how bad you were feeling a hug from her would wash away any sadness or hurt and you would immediately start feeling better. She used to be one of my favorite people on earth and I loved her dearly. We all loved her dearly.
When I was little I remember her always looking young for her age. And then one day it caught up to her. Age. Fragility. Weakness. And that is when we sent her to a nursing home.
Months passed, and my fourteen-year-old self had forgotten that she was locked away. Then, one day my family and I piled into the car and began driving into a part of town that I had never been to before. We parked at a building I had never seen. It all felt so foreign. Then my mother told me that we had arrived at grandma’s nursing home. My heart felt like it was going to beat through my chest. Gerontophobia and all that.
I wanted to see my grandma but not all the other old people. They still frightened me. So I spent the next half hour in the car reading a forgettable magazine as my family went in to visit. And then they came back out crying. My mother told me that while they were talking to her, she passed away.
It broke my heart that I wasn’t there for her. That I wasn’t able to give her one last final hug to return the thousands she had given me. I had the perfect opportunity to say goodbye but I let fear cloud my judgement. I essentially chose a magazine over her last breaths—her last words.
Today, at sixteen years old, I still have gerontophobia, except now, no matter what, my family comes first. While I will never be able to make it up to my grandma, I can make sure that I love more than I fear.
Taylor Smith is a sixteen-year-old girl from the small town of Moberly, MO. She enjoys playing in the high school band and science. She's a former "hater" of English class because for the longest time she thought writing was boring. Obviously, that has changed.