Stacy Post
In My Italian Class Notebook
(Draft 1)
Monday afternoon,finals week
Dear Paolo,
Earlier this semester, before I met you, there was someone else. It wasn’t serious and we decided to part ways after spring break. Yesterday, he stopped by. Imagine my surprise! When I saw him, I realized that I have unresolved feelings. Paolo! I’ve been placed in a difficult situation. I’m forced to choose and I hate doing it. You’re a wonderful person: intelligent, generous and affectionate. Your rapt attention is unparalleled by anyone I’ve met. However, I have an obligation to figure out what’s going on with Salvatore. I regret that I have only one road to travel. (Too bad we don’t live in the future and could clone ourselves.) Thank you for an exciting weekend. I hope you find your dream woman soon.
Love,With Affection, Warm Regards,
(Draft 2)
Monday, 5:15 p.m.
Um, Paolo?
I just got off the phone with you and feel I have to explain. This past weekend was great. I’ll never be able to hear “Celebration” without thinking of you and your boogie shoes. However:
I can’t give you 110% of me. It’s just not humanly possible.
1. How can I be sure who I am at nineteen?
2. Meet your mother??
3. This is moving way too fast.
4. YOU ARE ALREADY SMOTHERING ME!
You are a special man. I will alwayscherish our time together.
Sincerely,
(Draft 3)
Monday evening, after ramen-noodle supper
Really, Paolo?
Our signals are crossed. I’m not looking for serious! I was flattered by your attention. It was nice to be “Paolo’s girlfriend” at the wedding. I admit that I envied the bride and groom. (Just a little, though.) Aren’t they so happy together?I want to be the best I can be in a relationship. Right now, I don’t know who I am. That’s not fair. You deserve better. Paolo, you give me hope that someday I will find someone special. You are a kind man. It would be easy to take advantage of your generosity. You deserve someone who’ll give it back.
With Sincere Apologies,
(Draft 4)
Monday night, after hours ofrelentless calls from Paolo
Paolo,
I’m not sure how to tell you this, but, You’re rushing things. When we talked on the phone and you said you wanted to move in, well…it frightened me! You aren’t seeing me…you’re seeing a person you want to fulfill a role in your mind and heart. The truth is I can’t handle the responsibility of a boyfriend. I’m so uncertain. Think about what I’ve said before uprooting your life.
Selfishly,
(Draft 5)
Monday, near midnight, after taking the phone off the hook and drinking an entire bottle of wine.
Paolo,
I can’t take another moment in this God forsaken place. I don’t love you. I’m moving to Italy.
Ciao,
(On the very next page)
Caro Salvatore,
We need to talk. I may need to skip town for a while.
Ti amo.
Stacy Post, a native Hoosier and librarian, resides in the heartland with her husband and three children. A Pushcart Prize nominee for short fiction, her stories have appeared in moonShine review, Fiction365, One Forty Fiction, Referential Magazine, Rose & Thorn Journal, WOW! Women on Writing and Every Day Fiction. Her poetry has appeared in Kansas City Voices, 4 & 20 Poetry, Pearl, Iodine Poetry Journal, Referential Magazine, Every Day Poets and Skylark. Her first chapbook of poetry, Sudden Departures (Finishing Line Press) debuted in spring of 2013.