you said,
and you did.

I told you I loved you.
Life is
interesting,
you said.

You
brought me
aci badem.

I thanked
God for you.

You
showed me
Istanbul.
I read

Yeats.
You
were the beginning

of the story
I wanted
to write.

Sam

The fan oscillated in your place as I drove away from there
after telling you I'd decided to go back to Istanbul.
Had it been turned off, the small town
would have been silent.

I shifted my car into gear. You said Nothing ever changes.
You'd been standing in the middle of the room
holding a petunia. Could you see
the caricature of yourself?

The sun appeared above the corn fields.
I remember how you took a corner, rode your bike, and asked questions.
When you curled your fingers against my coat after your brother died,
I thought if there was one person I would give up everything for it would be you.
I would soon feel like a leaf in a field, laden with ink, straining
to see you from far away. I would sit against a wall
and watch a bucket blow past.

On the way to the airport, I inspected my carry-on items:

Camera: you rotated your tires yourself.
Wallet: you wear a tweed hat.
Toothbrush: you know the word proboscis.
Toothpaste: I wrote a poem that I titled your one syllable name.

Ingénieur

I built
a glass castle
in my heart,
filled it
with pebbles,
and sent it
to sea—
I wanted
to be there
with it.
I designed
this house
for my heart—
I couldn't
use nails.
The roof
is warm,
smooth, soft
underfoot.
Kiwi skin
soffit
and facia.
I built
a home
inside, for,
all around
my heart,
a glass
castle
with minarets
and a moat.
Filled it
with smooth,
symmetrical pebbles
I collected.

Real City I

I thought of what you would say
to or about the rain
& it stopped,
just like that.
I was on the ferry,
I thought of you,
the sun came out.
I looked to my left, then my right,
got under my hood, slouched—
I didn't mean for them to
& I wiped them away
quickly as they came
& let the wind
& sun at my face
I want every instance
back

“Sam”, “Ingénieur”, and “Real City I” were previously published in the SN Review. “Ercan in the Sun and Rain” was printed in Kippis!

Jamie Buehner was born and raised in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.